To do list.

Thought I'd finally decide to do this one after being tagged on Facebook by the Sociologist. Apparently, you bold out the ones that you've done.

01. Bought everyone in the bar a drink

02. Swam with wild dolphins

03. Climbed a mountain

04. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive

05. Been inside the Great Pyramid

06. Held a tarantula

07. Taken a candlelit bath with someone

08. Said “I love you” and meant it

09. Hugged a tree

10. Bungee jumped
11. Visited Paris

12. Watched a lightning storm at sea

13. Stayed up all night long and saw the sun rise

14. Seen the Northern Lights

15. Gone to a huge sports game

16. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa
17. Grown and eaten your own vegetables

18. Touched an iceberg
19. Slept under the stars

21. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon

22. Watched a meteor shower

23. Gotten drunk on champagne
24. Given more than you can afford to charity

25. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope
26. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment

27. Had a food fight

28. Bet on a winning horse

29. Asked out a stranger

30. Had a snowball fight
31. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can

32. Held a lamb
33. Seen a total eclipse

34. Ridden a roller coaster

35. Hit a home run
36. Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking

37. Adopted an accent for an entire day
38. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment

39. Had two hard drives for your computer

40. Visited all 50 states
41. Taken care of someone who was drunk

42. Had amazing friends

43. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country

44. Watched wild whales

45. Stolen a sign

46. Backpacked in Europe.
47. Taken a road-trip

48. Gone rock climbing
49. Midnight walk on the beach

50. Gone sky diving

51. Visited Ireland
52. Been heartbroken longer than you were actually in love

53. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger’s table and had a meal with them
54. Visited Japan

55. Milked a cow

56. Alphabetized your CDs

57. Pretended to be a superhero
58. Sung karaoke

59. Lounged around in bed all day

60. Played touch football

61. Gone scuba diving
62. Kissed in the rain

63. Played in the mud

65. Gone to a drive-in theater
66. Visited the Great Wall of China

67. Started a business

68. Fallen in love and not had your heart broken

69. Toured ancient sites

70. Taken a martial arts class

71. Played D&D for more than 6 hours straight

72. Gotten married

73. Been in a movie
74. Crashed a party

75. Gotten divorced

76. Gone without food for 5 days
77. Made cookies from scratch

78. Won first prize in a costume contest

79. Ridden a gondola in Venice

80. Gotten a tattoo

81. Rafted the Snake River

82. Been on television news programs as an “expert”
83. Got flowers for no reason

84. Performed on stage

85. Been to Las Vegas

86. Recorded music
87. Eaten shark

88. Kissed on the first date

89. Gone to Thailand

90. Bought a house

91. Been in a combat zone

92. Buried one/both of your parents

93. Been on a cruise ship
94. Spoken more than one language fluently

95. Performed in Rocky Horror

96. Raised children

97. Followed your favorite band/singer on tour

99. Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country

100. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over

101. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge

102. Sang loudly in the car, and didn’t stop when you knew someone was looking

103. Had plastic surgery

104. Survived an accident that you shouldn’t have survived
105. Wrote articles for a large publication

106. Lost over 100 pounds
107. Held someone while they were having a flashback

108. Piloted an airplane
109. Touched a stingray
110. Broken someone’s heart (regrettably)

111. Helped an animal give birth

112. Won money on a T.V. game show

113. Broken a bone
114. Gone on an African photo safari

115. Had a facial part pierced other than your ears

116. Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol

117. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild
118. Ridden a horse

119. Had major surgery

120. Had a snake as a pet

121. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon

122. Slept for more than 30 hours over the course of 48 hours

123. Visited more foreign countries than U.S. states

124. Visited all 7 continents

125. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days
126. Eaten kangaroo meat

127. Eaten sushi (I think they mean, shooshi, right, Sociologist?)

128. Had your picture in the newspaper (please refer to previous blog entry)

129. Changed someone’s mind about something you care deeply about

130. Gone back to school

131. Parasailed

132. Touched a cockroach

133. Eaten fried green tomatoes

134. Read The Iliad – and the Odyssey

135. Selected one “important” author who you missed in school, and read

136. Killed and prepared an animal for eating

137. Skipped all your school reunions (just 'cos I was never in the same country)
138. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language

139. Been elected to public office
140. Written your own computer language (Learnt HTML...)
141. Thought to yourself that you’re living your dream

142. Had to put someone you love into hospice care

143. Built your own PC from parts

144. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn’t know you

145. Had a booth at a street fair

146. Dyed your hair

147. Been a DJ

148. Shaved your head

149. Caused a car accident (bike vs car. Guess which one I was on.)

150. Saved someone’s life

So in general, my life isn't that interesting, really. Come to think of it, I think it could have been better but then again, who knows, right?

I'm sitting in the French Lady's kitchen typing on the Mac listening to kids talk about make believe play with Ken and Barbie while the French Lady and her friend are chatting in the lounge with a cup of tea. I still must say, though, the MacBook has an amazing font on it. Just love the way things are displayed on screen. +D

Today is a grey and cloudy day.

And having read this article on the Stuff website a while back, I guess if this is true, then the deadline has just been shifted to 35.

So how do I live life to the fullest within the next twelve years?

Maybe I should try and start ticking things off that above list.

Bubbles.

The French Lady and I decided to revert back to our childhood days and spent a good 20 minutes or so blowing bubbles in her backyard today.

Weather: Fine. Blue skies and sun in full force. I swear,  I felt as though I was getting sunburnt and I NEVER, EVER get sunburnt.

Pretty colours.

Quite a lot has been going through my mind as of late. Received a letter from the Higher Authorities (a handwritten one, mind you) which was quite nice. Nothing  says personal like a handwritten letter which reminds me that I need to get mine in order and start writing mine.

The French Lady and I decided to head out to town for a night of dancing.

Well, more like she dancing and me sitting there trying to look busy because honestly, I can’t do freestyle dancing. I need steps and I need a lady.

The thing is, just watching these people dance on the floor that night, it all looked so impersonal. There was no connection whatsoever between the dancers. I wonder whether that was how it was intended to be. Apart from mouthing the lyrics to wayy-too-loud rock songs and waving arms in the air and trying to do fancy 2 step footwork in order to break the monotony of switching feet and displacing weight on alternate feet, there was no visible connection between the dancers. It was all solo stuff and it was not impressive. Even some crappy ceroc would have been welcome or some lame attempt at ballroom. That’s okay. At least there’s the connection.

On second thought, maybe not. Poorly done partner dancing is probably worse than the usual jiggle-and-vibrate style that we see so often in clubs.

And for something completely different, I was having a little tiff with the one of the doctors on the ward. See, he’s Malaysian too. And unlike me, he’s got the racial advantage, if you get my drift.

And as for all Malaysians (well, for those who do anyway) who dream of coming home to the motherland, he asked me whether I was to go home and work. And I said no. In fact, I mentioned, I was thinking of getting citizenship here. Because there’s nothing left for me back there. I can’t do anything at all and besides, pretty much my entire life is now contained here in this country. Sure, I can go home for a holiday but that’s it. No chance of me working there anyway and with the country being the way it is, its time to bail and leave the sinking ship.

But he, of course, views it differently. He wants to make a difference. He wants to go home and make everything better.

And perhaps, I should as well. Perhaps, I should look at the brighter, more positive side of things.

But in light of all that’s happened, I guess I can’t really call Malaysia home anymore.

As dearly as I would like to go home, its no longer home.

But we’ll see what happens, anyway. This year has just begun and already, I’m feeling slightly overwhelmed by it all.

Maybe its time for some good ole Resolutions, eh?

So. Relationship, aye?

So I’ve been getting several (okay, maybe 1 request only) regarding the sudden mention of a relationship in the previous entry.

So here it is.

Everyone, meet the French Lady.

And I probably just realised, this is probably one of the few pictures that I’ve not blurred or tried to photo-edit in any way whatsoever. She says its okay so I’m leaving it as it is.

I must admit, though, I went through a hell of a struggle to get this picture. See, she’s a little camera shy and it doesn’t really help when all I want is just ONE picture of her on my phone. She twists and turns as though I’m trying to pour acid on her face. So while she stopped for a brief moment, I asked her to smile (which she doesn’t) and snapped this picture. Good enough, I guess.

We drove up for a weekend in the Not-so-old Plymouth and stopped when we noticed a Gypsy Fair taking place in a small town on the way through. Me, of course, being really naive and never having been to one of these places, decided to go.

Here she is in the distance. She didn’t quite notice until I showed her this picture and then she ended up making snarky comments about her figure every single time she saw it.

There was also a jousting platform a la American Gladiators where you could beat each other up and try to throw each other off your individual platforms. $5 for 3 minutes!

Using the huge equivalent of earbuds, you attempt to smash each other. Now maybe only the dirty minded may get this but honestly? “GET ME OFF?” SURE, I’LL GET YOU OFF WITH THIS POLE. How bloody thick do you have to be to NOT get this?

And no matter how often I talk about it, I’ve never really been that serious. Until now.

Yeah, I know. Hehe. Oh yeah.

Just having one of these make me feel badass. I walk around town just a little differently too. I can see how I want something a lot more extensive done.

And what a coincidence that the French Lady is attracted to exquisitely inked men. I should be so lucky. +D

Weather was pretty crap in the evening when we finally arrived. Shops were closed and there was nothing much to do except enjoy the waterfront.

The needle in the middle of the picture is actually a wind wand.

Took the French Lady for the rib platter at the one and only Lone Star.

From previous experience, Lone Star used to pile the plate full of ribs and you could never really finish the coleslaw and potatoes served alongside it. Perhaps with the recession, they cut down the number to 12. French Lady being ladylike, wanted to order 9 but I told her to shut up and ordered the dozen for her instead.

As photo evidence dictates, she did pretty well but she gave up in the end and handed me two ribs.  Her excuse was “I want to eat my coleslaw.” Pfffft.

Good effort, though.

So this post doesn’t really quite link to the title about the relationship. How did we meet? Friend of a friend where when we played pool, she checked out my butt and I checked out her cleavage. The day after, we did a salsa workshop together and she chickened out of the salsa party that night.

And as they say, the rest is history.

+D

P.S. Sorry, Shortstuff. I really suck at writing stories nowadays. I technically need to be inspired and for it to be a spur of the moment kinda thing for me to craft a story together. Hope this works!

The night.

The night is quiet. And the night is good.

I am walking back from social salsa and its nearly 10 p.m.

The sky is just slowly starting to darken. The fading sunlight drifts away into the distance, perhaps to light some other dark part of the world. I breathe in and the air is clean. No smell of petrol or fumes, no smell of booze and alcohol and vomit.

Its a quiet Monday night and I’m slightly sticky from too much salsa and too much dancing that is probably straining my cardiovascular system a little.

I’ve always been a night person. As much as I claim that I need my sleep, put me in the right conditions and I’ll choose the setting sun and the ensuing darkness anytime.

So this is 2010. Gotta bin this one now.

I’ve gotten used to writing 10 after my dates now. Initially, all I did was write 09, 09, and more 09. For the life of me, I couldn’t quite shake the habit. But now I’m back and I’m pretty sure I’m into it.

Mama Salsa mentioned offhandedly that they’re looking at teaching other styles so they were thinking of getting the more “senior” students to start teaching, with a sly sideways glance at yours truly. I felt this immense sense of “Yes! OH YEAH, BRING IT, BABY!” and thought, “Who would think that my dance aspirations would come true in a place like this? Sure, its small but any step is a first step.

But another thought immediately brought to my attention my continuing stay in this place if I keep doing this. And I thought to myself, “Hey, guess it can’t be too bad, after all.”

I’ve got an okay job that may or may not improve after a few more months, I’m in a relationship, dance is becoming a blooming hobby, and I’m living life the way I want it (thus far.)

Yeah. Who knows.

Maybe one more year.

Cracked me up 3.

Now honestly, I don’t know how someone cannot find this funny.

Received this in my email inbox today.

It was one of those typical sob stories where someone is desperately ill and only if you forward the said email will they get enough money to pay off their surgery or find a cure or whatever they need to do.

Now, I’m probably really mean when I say this but boy, can this boy wank or what? A large penile fracture from repeated beatings? *snicker* Sure, abuse is no laughing matter but seriously? If this boy only knew what a slang was, he would probably rephrase that. There is no sympathy for self injury secondary to chronic m4sturbatI0n or kinky slap the joystick fun.

I wished I got forwarded emails that paid 50 cents for every forward for every single time I beat myself. +D

And for those of you in the dark scratching your heads…

Beating can also mean m4sturbatIng.

HEE HEE!

Belief.

Her snuggled up to me this morning. 7a.m.

 

A conversation that started with circumcision and why she wouldn't allow it to about the belief system of Christianity and how things change as you go through the stages. Christianity. Religion or a belief that you subscribe to?

 

What is faith? How would you classify it? Define, please.

 

And I look back at the path I've come from and I'm a little bewildered by the roads that I've taken. And that I will be taking.

 

Hm.

 

Rushing to work this morning on the crusty bike, creaking as I pumped my legs as fast as I could, trying to beat the clock and get to work. Failed miserably and got to work later than I hoped for. But I guess that's a lesson learnt, isn't it? Leave sooner, be there sooner.

 

Was talking to someone the other day, don't remember who now, but she was telling me that this year seemed so full of promises, so many great and wonderful things to be done.

 

And a quick flashback to a comment about "God has a plan." Pfft.

 

Rang the Higher Authorities and the female counterpart reminded me that this year is the year of the Metal Tiger. I'm a Fire Tiger by Chinese zodiac, not quite the same but still Tiger, nonetheless, so this year should be a good one for me. Funny. How we profess to be Christians and yet, our cultural side of things still take over and we still look at our horoscopes, the animals that predate our birth and connect to that, wishing, hoping for the better.

 

I somehow get why people go to these soothsayers, these tarot card readers, these psychics and mediums and all these craftsmen and craftswomen who foretell the future. It gives you a sense of hope. A sense of what to look out for. And sorry to say this, my readers who are Christian (no offence, really) but getting a prediction from ANY of the above mentioned people somehow beats, "God has a plan."

 

One that isn't outlined does kind of make it hard to see where you're going.

 

And I guess we go back to the subject of faith. And belief. And trust. And hope.

 

Just read the predictions for this year and dear whichever-deity-you-choose-to-believe-in, sometimes, I wish I could believe it if it just wasn't a whole lot of crock.

 

Flashback to a line I quoted this morning when her arm was draped over my neck and the lingering scent of her hair brushed my nose.

 

"I'd rather burn in the fires of hell as an atheist, an agnostic, or an unbeliever and know that while I was on earth, I did my good deeds rather than go to heaven on the terms of salvation and know that while I was on earth, I was a hypocritical sinner who was saved just because I believed in the one man."

 

Anyhow. 

 

Back to work. Thanks for reading. 

 

Start.

You've gotta start somewhere! - The Brother when playing GTA IV and me wanting to free roam rather than start missions.

This is my first weekend working ever since I came back. And its good. Its quiet and its comfortable and I don't have to HAVE to deal with a whole lot of patients/whathaveyous.

Although I did get desperate bordering on hysterical voice messages on my phone this morning about getting some crutches for the emergency department this morning. They were going to get me in at 8a.m.! For fsck's sakes, its a weekend. We only start work at 9!

But I'm at work and the impending crisis if I didn't get crutches was promptly averted just by me taking some crutches out of one department and bringing it to another. Gawd, the dramaqueens I work with.

Was talking to someone online the other day and I mentioned that ever since I started working here, I was afraid that I would end up staying. I was afraid that things would work out and that I would end up liking this place (God forbid!) and that I would end up stuck in this rurally poor excuse of a city where we're more well known for our controversial mayor who talks absolute crap on talkback radio and is a celebrity wannabe and gang mobs that kill innocent people because they think they're wearing rival gang colours. Oh, its not that bad? I see. *nods*

So, perhaps, that's why I always remained a bit more reclusive.

Not to say that I'm one of those social butterfly people that hovers from group to group talking, laughing, chatting away. I can do that. But I guess I'm just not too comfortable doing that all the time.

I would usually prefer sitting in front of a desktop/laptop playing my games and chat with people online. Don't get me wrong, the whole thing about "no man is an island", I totally and heartily agree with. I think its one of the best suggestions ever to arise out of a drunken night out with mates and where male bonding suddenly takes a turn to become male bondage and it just goes all horribly wrong and shit hits the fan. Literally.

I have few friends. Close to my heart and I keep them that way. Like a jealously paranoid poker player, I like to keep my friends close. I tell my enemies to fsck the hell out with the usual ignorance tactic that works absolute wonders and my acquaintances are greeted with a temporarily raised chin, a smile that doesn't quite get to the eyes and a non-committant "Hey, how's it going?"/"Hey"/"Hi".

But I digress.

So the recluse in me arises from the need to remain as disconnected as possible. But now.

I'm not sure.

I really don't know.

Sure, its always easy to say that. Everything is always easier said than done. I wanted to remain disconnected. I wanted to keep my distance, be there but not be there, form friendships but not really so that in the end, when I do leave, I don't feel as though I'm tearing up an oak tree by its roots. I'd want the leaving bit to be as painless as pulling out a single weed.

So I kept thinking to that one comment that the Brother made when we were playing (well, I was playing and he was commenting) GTA IV and it made me think. I had to start somewhere, didn't I?

Whether its in a fictional XBOX360 game or whether its reality, you've gotta begin. Sitting on your hands and whistling doesn't get you anywhere. It doesn't do anything for you. It doesn't do jack.

So I guess this year, I'm starting.

I'm jumping headfirst into this deep pool that I'm not sure of, where I don't know how deep it is, and I can't really swim.

I've got my eyes shut tight, my arms outstretched, and my heart open to whatever comes. Its all about taking risks after all, isn't it? Its all about going out there and finally doing it and getting it done and who the fsck cares.

As long as you're happy.

As long as I'm happy.

As long as we're happy.

As long as the world keeps turning and I keep falling and the days fall off the calender and as my days pass me by, as long as I'm happy.

I'll just keep twirling here in this corner, practising my shines and spins until I get my happiness together.

Answer me.

When I thought that my world was back to where it was, one phone call was all it took to shake the very existence of what I thought was a new life.

 

Doesn't take much, does it?

The blogger that was.

I’m a pretty much has-been blogger.

I remembered once in my hey days of blogging that I would have so many things to write that whenever my friends left my blog for just half a day, when they logged back in to read what I’ve thought up, they would have to recycle over 6 new entries to get to my latest thoughts! Ah, good times.

But now, I think I’m just becoming a little lazier than usual. Then again, I’m usually lazy so I don’t see why this should be any different. Although I must admit, blogging was one of the things I was pretty much committed heart and mind to previously.

But now, my thoughts are like old pairs of shoes hung up on a fence right outside Waihola.

But at least they don’t smell.

Today is a gray day.

Its gray outside my windows and its gray in the living room. The gray couch and carpets probably don’t really help either.

I’m leaving to go back to Wangy tomorrow.

And its the start of another year.

I know I’m probably lagging a little bit and the new year started like 4 days without me. But still.

I finally feel that the year has started. Finally.

2010. Bring it.

And with a burst of light, its over.
And in comes in 2009.

And with that, I heralded in the beginning of this year.

Just read an acquaintance’s blog and found that he did a summary of the year. I’m tempted to do the same. But knowing me and my dying enthusiasm for things as time goes by, I don’t think I’d bother. Besides, the only way I figured out that I’m going to start blogging again like this was if I was stuck on a plane and then stuck on a bus for another few more hours. Honestly. I need a good kick in the butt.

This year has been…interesting. And that’s all I’m really going to say about it. Sure, there were good and there were bad things that happened, none of which I’m going to really elaborate on here because after all, I’m NOT supposed to be doing a summary of the year. Let bygones be bygones, I say. And lets let everything down where they lay.

The year is going to be something to kind of look forward to next year. I’m thinking of getting some things done and continuing to pursue my dream of hopefully dancing at a more amateur/professional level, and doing as much as it takes to just keep going and make myself proud of my achievements. Whether I really want to continue in ballroom and continue to practise that or should I just call it a day and continue on with salsa which I definitely enjoy a heck of a lot more and want to pursue on a more serious basis? Tough choice.

I’ve got one more year in Wangy. One more year and then I’m not sure where I’d want to go next. I guess the thing I feared was that I’d get attached to the place. I’d build friendships, I’d get connected to the people, the town, the city, the job that when I do want to leave, I’d find it hard because I do not want to leave the familiar. I do not want to have to start all over again, although I probably know that I will have to one way or another.

But its growing on me. I’m learning to like the place, if anything. Though if I was told to move on and get another job, I guess I would. I wouldn’t find it a problem, really. Its just up-ing and going all over again. Pack my bags and I’m ready to go. Just like the song.

The Sister Pharmacist asked me yesterday what were my plans for the long term. And honestly, I couldn’t say anything more than, “I’m not sure.”

I wanted to do locum-ing, getting familiar with the different districts and different areas before deciding on a place that I would want to go to to settle down. And even then, the word “settle down” kinda scares me just a little. I’m not looking forward to a white picket fence and a little red cottage. I’ve always thought I’m more for a minimalist apartment in tones of black, white, and grey. Modernistic and flash. Hm. Sounds like me. I like.

But I’m not even sure if this is what I want anymore.

Maybe I want to be bohemian. Cuba Street in Welly being part of my being. And I’ve always wondered what I looked like in dreadlocks, a white tank top and black cargo pants with a leather jacket. Mmm.

Moving on.

Let’s call it a night.

And happy new year, everyone. May 2010 be kind and merciful on your souls.