Tinged.

 

Its inexplicable, really. Hard to explain, dunno how to explain, so I’ll leave things just like that.

I’m not even really sure what I’m talking about right now.

Its late at the moment. 12.18a.m. on the 30th of December, 2009.

It’s been a year. And its a year that I can barely fathom that have slipped through my fingers like quicksand.

No, this isn’t one of those review posts that goes through the entire year. I’ve written one before and it ended up being more of a mumble jumble because though I’ve grown rather comfortable enough to be able to release things like my name and some things about me, I’m still private enough that unless I really let things loose and tell all, you readers will probably still have no idea what is going on. I like to tell things in bits and pieces so that people that are actually close to me will understand whereas everyone else will struggle to do so.

I’ve got Kenny G on at the moment and its soothingly quiet music at this time of the night. I guess I’m in one of those moods where I don’t want something loud and blaring in my ears. And I think this music is best suited when I’m in a bit of a thinking mood at the moment.

I don’t know how to explain this. Its like everything, absolutely everything is tinged with sadness. Everything drips of tears. Salty, fat tears that run down cheeks and struggles to hang on chins before gathering and plopping down onto wet earth.

I’m not sure how to explain this but that’s how it feels.

I’m in one of my midnight rants again. I used to write like this a lot especially in my part time working days. Late night work always seem to inspire me to write a lot as I would think of blog topics while I was cleaning trays and cabinets of the eternal stench that is fish.

The Higher Authorities are leaving this afternoon for home.

And honestly, I feel ready to end my holiday as well. I think one as prolonged as mine was and is good but I think I’m ready to go back to work now. Now that’s something I thought I would never really say. But guess what? I’ve just said it. Damn stupid.

Kenny G’s Alone is playing and it feels right. Right now, sitting on this grey couch with sleeping bag and pillow and knowing that when I stretch out, this couch is exactly the right size for me. It feels good to be alone.

Don’t mind me being emo, by the way. I get these occasional mood swings. I was once mentioned to have PMS worse than girls.

And by the way, I’m thinking of ending the blog. For good.

But I’ll sleep on it.