Smile.

Smile, and no one will know the difference.

I remembered writing this statement a long time ago, when I was in one of my emo moods and I knew how true this statement. As long as you smiled and laughed, no one else knew what was going on deep inside. No one else would know what turmoil brewed beneath the surface. Everyone thought that all was fine and dandy.

I nearly adopted this statement as a life motto about a year ago. Actually, yeah, it would be a year ago. One of those typical emo teenager moments, I guess.

Hm.

But this post shall not be one of those posts that moan and gripe. Well, not all of it, anyway.

I had a very “happening” weekend. Pictures to follow in another post but things that took place included salsa workshops for 5 hours (OH YEAH, BABEH!), meeting a new friend that I can now drag (or attempt to drag) along to salsa (I’m looking at you, RandomGirl!), and coffee and a ride on the paddle steamer up the river to a small settlement named after a Maori female warrior who had her head chopped off to preserve a dignity after death. Yeah….

So after such an exciting weekend, work dragged.

Yeah, it dragged so bad yesterday I felt as though I was about to die when 5p.m. came around.

Due to admin stuff, orientation, sorting out where the new girl was going on wards and me going on leave (woohoo!), I was desperate to flee the wards after 5p.m.

I got home, tired, grumpy, and a right fuss to be with.

On Facebook, I updated, saying that I was tired enough to actually turn down an opportunity to dance. Which is rare and incredibly stupid, in my right frame of mind. I would never ever give up a chance to dance. Work and life in general is boring enough as it is and its dance that keeps it alive and interesting for the better part of it.

So I grumbled, chatted to Tofupuff, grumbled some more, went online, played Cafe World, and ate dinner.

And at about 8p.m., half an hour after salsa began, I thought to myself, “Look, I might as well go. Worst case scenario, I’ll just slowly recede from the salsa scene. Back to ballroom and latin nexdt year anyway.”

Another thing that I perhaps failed to mention was that the salsa party, on the weekend although good to some extent, sucked balls. A lack of experience, a fear to dance, and the general unusability of dance moves made it incredibly hard to actually have a good time. And elite dancers being elite dancers…..yeah, I have this problem as well. I need to loosen up and start dancing with a wider range of people.

But yeah.

But last night, I had one of those “AHA!” moments like what I did with my ceroc last night at a bar. Coincidentally, this was exactly the same scenario. Freestyle. At a bar. And I got it.

And perhaps this thing was more towards enjoying myself. As with all freestyle dancing, I put too much effort into what I wanted to do next. So I thought, “Heck, I’ll smile, enjoy myself, do my own little steps, have a laugh, mix it up, and fsck it, if I don’t enjoy myself, I’m not going to come here until  I learn to do so.”

And it was brilliant.

Abso-fscking-lutely brilliant.

Funny enough, I’m still living on the high of it right now.

Heh.

Anyways.

Work time. And breakfast.