Randoms Overachiever

Okay, the title is broken up into two different bits. Randoms for the first part and Overachiever for the second part.

Randoms first.

I'm dreaming of a white....AH FCUK! (accidentally drops tray of fish on floor)

[on hindsight, dreaming of a white FCUK might just be what this messed up person calls for. +) Oh, Blonde Girl......]

Now for Overachiever.

You know, I actually rushed home excited to write this post. Its crazy. Positively crazy. When I am at work, I get all this awesome blogging material just because I'm standing around doing nothing. Or I might have been aimlessly cleaning fish-stinking trays and the chlorine from the bleach has finally messed up my brain somewhat.

I think its a good thing I ended this with you. You know who you are if you read this. 

You know how you used to ask me what my plans in life was, whether I was a motivated person, did I want to achieve success, did I want to climb up the financial ladder?

And perhaps, I don't know, maybe to say yes, to impress you, to think that this was the right thing to do, I said yes.

YES, I wanted to be a motivated and driven person, YES, I wanted to earn twice my starting salary within 4 years, YES, I wanted to climb the financial ladder, YES, I want to achieve success.

But now, you know, I think...no.

No, I don't think so.

I mean, I'm a pretty laidback person. Perhaps, too laidback for your type. You wanted to climb the social ladder so much I think I was out of your plans even before you knew it. You wanted to make it big, earn the big bucks, live the high life, get the house, the car, the mortgage. We were even arguing about who was going to pay the mortgage even before we were even engaged, for goodness sakes! We talked about money and whatnot, so confident that we were going to spend the rest of our lives together. 

But you know what?

I don't think I want it. 

I'm pretty happy where I am. Earning as I do, in no real hurry to climb up ANY ladder, living as I see fit, enjoying my first year of working, experiencing a bit of life just the way I wanted. 

The Higher Authorities keep mentioning doing PhDs and improving myself and what other very self-improvement-ish stuff but really, I'm happy. I'm quite happy to stay right here and plonk my butt down and call it a day. Or a year. Or a decade. Or a life.

So in a way, its probably a good thing that we left things as we did. That you know, you could find a better life somewhere else. Because I think, in the long run, it would have been a wayy nastier divorce compared to a breakup over the phone.

You and I are too different. And like a famous blogger quoted recently, the stress of the relationship overtook the happiness of being in one. Totally.

We probably could have worked out short term. But long term? In my midnight dreams. Perhaps.

So that's my profound thought for today.