When Two Worlds Drift Apart.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hDWzmL23KqQ

We met over lunch, Thursdays, just the usual. It was a normal occurence. Nothing out of the ordinary. We used to meet for lunch quite regularly, discuss the day’s events and the days to come. Just the usual.

She walked in with a frown on her face and kind of rubbed her forehead while she was at it. She was tired. Drained.

I stood up as she walked in through the door and kind of awkwardly rubbed her upper arm as she clutched her head. No, things were not the usual. Not this time round.

So we sat down together and ate as usual. She went on about what was going on in her life, the stories, needing to get her computer fixed, doing her groceries and going for a swim later that afternoon.

I smiled and talked about my day. What was going on, that my work was busy but manageable and its just the usual.

So the conversation went on until it paused for a little bit. I decided that this was probably the time to make myself heard.

Hey.

“Yeah?”

Can I ask you a question?

“You just did.”

I know. I smiled. She chuckled softly to herself.

Good one. But can I ask you a question?

“You just did it again.”

I smiled. Can I ask you two questions?

She brushed her hair out of her eyes and folded her arms on the table in front of her and looked at me.

As I looked down at the table, I wondered what I was going to say. I did not know the right way to get around to the topic but hell, I had to bring it up. It had to be done.

So, the question I want to ask is, are we still romantically linked in this relationship?

Why do I always end up wordy when I bring up something complicated? She did not reply.

See, because I need to know. I need to know whether we’re still romantically together because if not, I need time to get over you.

She did not say a word. She smiled at me and looked into my eyes and all I could do was look back and sigh.

I know you said that you needed your own “me” time. And I know you do. I’ve been having you around ever since I got back in January. And suddenly, this emptiness and this blank that you’ve left here is something I’m not used to. Believe me, I've had to find things to do just because you’re not around.

“Yeah, you should.”

Not quite the answer I was after. But anyway.

I’m not sure why we’re behaving like this. But I think I understand. Sure, if this ends here, it ends the whole thing about us in this relationship and this makes it so much easier when I actually go at the end of the year. It won’t be hard on you emotionally and you don’t hurt when I’m finally gone.

Sure, I’m finding it hard because we’re not texting anymore. But I’m used to having you text me like 80 times a day. But now, there’s pretty much nothing, no terms of endearment, nothing to show that we’re still a couple. So I’m assuming that we’re just maintaining this as friends. I’m probably going to be the first one to freak out and kinda go all ugh about all this…

I gestured with my hands, palms in front of me, as though trying to prevent myself from getting beaten up. She giggled.

“Yeah, like what you said on Saturday, about the whole friends thing.”

Yeah, I know. So I’ll try my best to keep this platonic. Its hard but I’m going to try.

You’ve given me two months of your life. I can’t thank you enough.

I looked into those eyes that I’ve become so familiar with, that I knew so well. One that was grass green and one that was grayish green. How her hair fell over the left side of her face whenever she ruffled her hair. How she hated the “lack of volume” in it.

My pager buzzed angrily on my hip.

I gotta go.

We both stood up. And as we walked to the door, she asked, “Do you want a ride?”

I shook my head. No. I’ll walk.

And that was it.

Now, I’ve got nothing worth staying for.