Cheat. Cheat. Cheat.

So I’ve been online. For the last few days. Although my Facebook status proudly announces that I’m going to try and be off the internet for as long as I can, the continuing sucky days do not help my mood.

Yesterday, I came home depressed enough that I contemplated NOT going for social salsa. I eventually gave up and thought that I needed some much sweating to take the edge off the day. Oh, as well as a hug.

Last night, had a conversation with Pharmacist M who discussed future career options with me and basically made me see that whatever was happening to me was really my fault. There were no two ways about it, it was purely and really my fault. I could change my circumstances but because of my lazy fat ass, I decide to just tough things out and here I am. All at my own doing. Sure, some things happen for a reason but its mainly my fault. Cool, eh?

And I’ve been online too, I must say. I’ve been online sometimes almost to the point of compulsiveness because of the way things have been happening with the job.

For those of you who haven’t heard, I’ve switched wards. And this ward, man, this is a bitch.

I’m trying to keep out of my head the thought that this job is a specialist position and suddenly, I’ve been asked to treat people at a rehab specialist point of view. I don’t think I’m doing enough study because honestly? I don’t like it and when I’m done with work, I want to be done with work. I don’t want to stay and do anything more when the clock strikes 4.30p.m. But due to my lack of knowledge in this field and the consistent feeling that I need to pull myself up by my bootstraps, its kind of suffocating.

Sorry for the rant. But I think its going to be like this for the next few months or so. So much for writing lovely little stories and posts, eh?

There’s exciting things coming up though. But I don’t feel the thrill of it anymore. I don’t feel the rush of excitement that I used to feel whenever things like this come up. Its more of a “oh, okay. yeah sure” kinda thing.

Weather is crap and I feel like pulling a sickie. Seriously.