Action and reaction.

Maybe some of you don’t think so, but I was stunned at some of the answers I got back regarding my previous post on the Eulogy.

I got told off by one person, another one emailled me saying that she would be angry if I passed on, another person told me to get my head checked, and then some. A lot of people responded in the more negative sense of the word. And in a way, I kinda wonder why.

In a way, the Eulogy was kinda how I imagined my imagined 40th birthday suicide would be like. I think it’ll make a great movie.

Although for those in the know, I drew inspiration for sending Gorgeous out for eggs while I (Snuggle) *snicker* gave myself the Beretta blowjob from the classic Scent of a Woman. That was one great film, I tell you. Honest to deity.

And with me being melodramatic (as per usual, duh), I thought that the fact that she climbed into the coffin with dead me and her killing herself would be one of those “awwwwwwwww…..*sniff sniff*” kinda things.

Instead, I’m being told that if I’m going to kill myself at 40, I better forget some friendships, I’m being told off that life is important and precious and how the heck can I waste life like that, and several referrals to psychiatrists.

But why?

If I have lived my life to the fullest prior to my timely demise at 40 and I don’t think I’ll miss seeing what happens after that, is that such a crime? Is that such a boo boo?

Why does everyone believe that we should ALL live to a ripe old age? Sometimes, its better to go, I think.

I’ve seen so many patients with age-related diseases tell me (who probably think that I’m only like 15 because of my young-ish looking face), “Boy, don’t grow old.”

And this is my reply.

I know. I don’t plan to.

I don’t know who quoted the whole thing about living fast, partying hard, dying young but sometimes, that sounds like some pretty damn good advice. Why would you want to live slow, live a mundane and boring life and then end up dying of something stupid like acute renal failure or an undiagnosed skin carcinoma? Why on earth would you want to do something like that?

People talk about enjoying life, don’t they? So do it.

On a different note, I quit ballroom for the rest of the year last week.

And now, it feels different to only dance the requisite 2 nights rather than 5 nights a week. It honestly feels very odd. But the thing is, I’m not sitting exams and I can’t justify $240 a month for ballroom classes. Not when I’m doing shit-all and not winning any medals/certs like the last comp I attended. Sure, its part of the learning process and no one ALWAYS wins certs but for the best part of the year for all the comps, I’ve always gone home with at least 1 certificate. The last Federal Pre Nationals Comp was a fscking joke.

Oooh. Apparently, there’s a lot of hidden grief in the above statement.

But I’m definitely looking forward to salsa. And another 3 hours of joy on Tuesday.

And just a little observation, I seem to blog better now in the mornings rather than at night. For some weird reason. 

But here, I need to get ready for work. Man, I’ve ended at least 3 posts like this already!

Ta.