L-O-V-E 2

So I've managed to gather some answers from people around me, kind enough to provide me with a solid, workable answer. Well, solid and workable, in my opinion, anyway.

 

The Sociologist brainstorms love as pleasure, delight, wonder. And that God is love and sometimes, its God that allows you to love rather than loving out of the abscesses of your heart. Because we're human that way and we're imperfect like that. Or so I understand from what the Sociologist has supplied in terms of an answer.

 

Tofupuff was the one who threw the words "sacrifice" and "commitment" at me and she mentioned as well that love means to be with someone. To be there and understand a person and what the person is all about. What I understand from this is the need to understand and still appreciate someone for what they are, to be non-judgmental. So there is commitment as well.

 

Dory has kindly commented in my blog previously regarding this issue in the form of a song.

 

Love is not a place
To come and go as we please
It's a house we enter in
And then commit to never leave

Lock the door behind you
Throw away the key
We'll work it out together
Let it bring us to our knees

Love is a shelter in the raging storm
Love is peace in the middle of a war
If we try to leave, may God send His angels to guard the door
No, love is not a fight but it's something worth fighting for

To some, love is a word
That they can fall into
But when they're falling out
Keeping that word is hard to do

Love will come to save us
If we'll only call
He will ask nothing of us
But demand we give our all

I will fight for you
Would you fight for me?
It's worth fighting for

- Love is Not a Fight by Warren Barfield

So love is not a fight. It is shelter, it is peace. It is a house that we commit to. [Commitment again]

 

Its sacrifice. That's where we work it out together.

 

And I just got this from the Sociologist recently.

 

"Love is always about giving up control, and people are trained to think of taking control—even of God. In my experience, most people would sooner be afraid and in control than in love and out of control."  Richard Rohr

 

Now what do you think? Love is about giving up control?

 

Does love mean giving up control? Does "I love you" mean "I cede control of my feelings over to you?" Or maybe not feelings but something else, maybe? The physical, mental, and spiritual surrender? Does love in the sense of giving up control only apply in the terms of God? Or does it mean in terms of man as well? 

 

"Most people would sooner be afraid and in control than in love and out of control." 

 

From personal experience, the feeling of being "in love" and "out of control" was one that I jumped into heartily, eyes shut tight with excitement and heart wide open. But then once it hurts, you step back, eyes wide open and heart bruised and closed to all open advances, wary and suspicious. Isn't that human nature to act like that? Pain is a reflex. If it hurts, don't bloody do it. 

 

A blogger from back home just found love. And it brings back a lot of memories.

Yes, I was in love. Yes, I was in a song writing, poetry spouting mode for months. I could write stuff that would give you diabetes if you read it. Or puke, if you were romance-allergic. I would go around smiling to myself because I was so happy. She made me happy.

 

But its a different story now, isn't it? Or maybe, just maybe, when I find that one person, I will be happy again. I will be in love and I will give up control of my life. 

 

But it feels like a different story. It reads like a different story.

 

And how do you write a prologue to a story that you don't know is even going to happen yet?