Made it through.

In a way, life is about making it through things.

Its about overcoming challenges and facing adversities and going, "Yoohoo!"

Its about living from day to day and at the end of it all, going, "Huh. I'm still alive. Oh okay. Lets cook some pasta."

Its about surviving every single thing chucked at you during your day, every piece of shit that they could find that was flung in your general direction and then you stand up and blow a raspberry at their horrible aiming skills.

This song meant something to me today.

Barry Manilow - I made it through the rain

When friends are hard to find
Life seems so unkind
Sometimes you feel afraid
Just think beyond the clouds
And rise above the crowds
And start your own parade
When I chased my fears away
Its only then that I could finally say

I made it through the rain
I kept my world protected
I made it through the rain
I kept my point of view
I made it through the rain
And found myself respected
By the others who
Got rained on too
And made it through

I used to think I like to preach the "enjoy life to the fullest" philosophy. But somehow, I'm kinda stuck in a bit of a limbo here. I'm not too sure what I want anymore.

But then again, how many 22 year old people know exactly what they want in life at this stage? Not many, if any. Or maybe that's just a random sweeping statement.

I think I need to go for another run.

At this point in time, I think I've survived quite a bit. And funnily enough, this all happened when I first moved back here in 2004.

Man, how I wished I discovered blogging sooner.

Of course, I did flirt with the idea of blogging and tried the whole documenting thing when I was in high school. It was just pretty hard to update when the library only opened at 8.15a.m. and there were a whole bunch of high school kids jockeying for their turn to update and read their Bebo pages. Fair enough.

So I started seriously in 2005 and I must say, I don't think I've ever looked back. In many more years to come, I'll still be sitting in front of a computer, updating my life for friends and random strangers who chance upon this blog. In many more years, I'll still be here, writing about what I did today and telling random stories and laughing at whatever my day brought. Or else, I would be ranting and emo-ing and dealing with the hand I was dealt here. Open.

Although there were moments that I refrained from blogging, it was oh-so-hard. It was hard to NOT log in and dash off another post, no matter where I was or what I was doing. Being deprived of Internet absolutely smacked me upside down when I had a bottleneck of blogposts on the laptop and no way of updating them.

And there were times that I deleted bits and pieces of my life off the Net, fearful of retribution or wary of spectatorship that I was not keen on or denial at a past that existed that I built with my two hands and my mind and my heart.

But I always came back. I think my readers would be happy to know that. That I would always pop up again, different site, different name, same scenario, same email in inboxes around the world to say, "Hey guys. I'm back. SIGH."

Oh, but how I long to stop.

Bloody addiction. There should have a Bloggers' Anonymous but I'm thinking it'll end up as a photofest and a whole lot of camwhoring pics on the Net. Not working.

I want to stop. Help me kick the habit. Anyone got a cigarette? Or at least some anti-blogging gum I can munch on? Anyone? Free needle? Pweese? Shot of ice? Um. Weed smoke?

In a way, I think I know the best way to stop. But it would probably end up with me posting notepad files. All over again.

I think it would be cool if I wrote like a blog post everyday and collected it and put it on a USB flash drive and give it to someone when I've filled it up.

Oh, I think I know how. But if you find out, I'll have to kill you. +)

Have a goose day, people.