Out of the Ashes.

I feel reborn.

I know I talked about moving out of here. Especially after the French Lady and I decided to go our own separate ways, I had convinced myself that I had no reason to stay, that I was getting out of here and doing it soon.

But I’ve found it. I’ve found a reason to stay. Not for long, though. I plan to make my mark and then leave when its all over and done with.

Oh, salsa. Damn you.

I’m staying here because I want to make my mark here in the dancing world. I’m staying here and carrying on because I want to leave my legacy here. I’m staying here because I’m looking at foraging out into the world of business and running one and how I can do it better.

It’s thrilling. Its something I can keep my attention on and its something that I can keep myself occupied with.

I’m still continuing with the whole ballroom latin thing. I’ve been talking to the DanceMentor and he was telling me a lot of things about dance that I myself personally preach about but funnily enough, I never seem to practise.

“Knowing a routine is one thing. Loving it is another.”

How true is that statement! Sure, you can always dance a routine but then, it becomes purely that. Only a routine. One move after another.

But when you love it…everything changes. Everything. A wave of the hand, a flick of the head, a smile on the face, everything means just a little bit more.

Hm.

I want to ask a question. Is it possible to fall in love with someone without falling in love with that person?

Whether, for example, you can choose to like someone or even think of the idea of “love” with one said person but know that in the end, it doesn’t matter anyway?

I’m not looking for a relationship. I know, for certain, I miss the idea of being in one and I miss the fact that there’s someone who cares for me but to think of being in one…I’m not sure whether I’m ready for it. Whether I’ll ever be ready for it.

Was talking to the FreshFaced Girl and she was saying that after having had dated several boyfriends in the past, it was more of a way to “try” different people out to see whether they were suitable for long term relationships. I, myself, personally think that as much as I’m kind of “cool” with that idea, I used to be the kind of person who would “date to marry.” As in, date the one person and then marry that said person.

Oh, how naive I was. How stupid I am.

I finally settled down on the idea of “Hey, maybe its okay to date or “try” to see who is and who is NOT suitable for marriage or something.” However, as much as I have made peace with that thought, I keep thinking about how nice it would still be to be able to date someone for the first time and know that this person will be the one that you’ll be looking at marrying and having the rest of your life with.

Rare find, that.

I was asked by Pharmacist M about how I would know when the right person came along. I said I had not a flipping clue.

Say if we were to take the population of the world currently at 6 billion, that meant that if you were to meet your soulmate, it would be 1 in 6 billion. That would be a fair estimate, I’d say but that doesn’t take into account your sexual orientation or different fetishes, age differences, interracial….um. Yeah. I don’t think I’ll continue otherwise this blog is going to get reported and flagged for inappropriate content.

So while we’re at it, say women outnumber men 2 to 1. And you ladies probably do. Apparently, we men are going to be extinct in the near future.

So ladies, if you were to find a man, you’d be looking at say…..1 in 2 billion. And that’s a lot of men. And to think that you’ll be having to compete with 4 other billion women just to get 1 of 2 billion men, hell, that’s a lot. But you might be lucky and count the women who’re too career focused or who are already married or divorced or spinsters and who don’t want a man, you can trim that number down a little.

Ah, to hell with it. Its too late at night to try and type something out of this calibre.

But as you can tell, I’m back. Thanks for reading.